I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
