Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
