I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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