don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
tonight lets celebrate not being married
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
