New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
