You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Randomize
