Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
