My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
