eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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