My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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