you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
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