i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
