And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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