dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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