that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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