I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
