Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
pray to the hookup gods
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
