I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize