4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Define "chronic" masturbator.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
