Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
