oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
