i just google imaged poop.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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