my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
