she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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