God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
