dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
