i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
