I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
