she woke up with a sticky ear
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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