perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
