I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
