I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
