I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
