I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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