He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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