I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just want nice things and good sex
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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