i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
All the doctor said was why
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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