Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
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