i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
