I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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