Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
