Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize