I am puke
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
