IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
