I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
