Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
