the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
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