Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
These tits shall not be calmed
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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