We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
