PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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