Well apparently he's into motor boating.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
