Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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