It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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