with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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