It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
