You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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