I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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