Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
