Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
