I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
