I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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