When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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