He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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