Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
