thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
