people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
