just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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