And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
