I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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