You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize