I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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