I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
