I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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