Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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