Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
