Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize