If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
