we're blogging at a bar
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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