I smell stomach acid.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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