I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Who died my cat blue again?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
