if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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